Lessons

This last weekend we all learned a lot together as a family- but let me back track just a bit.

Last October Abby came home from school with a goldfish. She had bought it from the 2nd grade "Trading Post" with her "Bug Bucks" (i.e. Being Unusually Good Bucks) she had earned during that month. Lucky for her we still had our old bowl from the previous venture into the world of fish, so this new fish had an instant home and immediately fell deep into that child's large heart. He was a traditional orange goldfish and was aptly named Pumpkin- it was almost Halloween so it seemed fitting. This fish became the pride and joy of the family- she fed it, all the girls watched over it with protective eyes and the duty of cleaning the bowl landed in my lap. Call me lazy if you must, but I don't really care for this task. Every time I had to clean that bowl terror spread through my bones as I was rocketed back to last spring when all three of the girls fish went belly up after my cleaning! I didn't want to do that to her again!! Alas, the days went by, the weeks swept past and turned into months until January reared it's dull and dreary head. I started to notice that sweet Pumpkin seemed to be slowing down, not moving as much and I swear at times he was swimming crooked. I tried to prep her with the possibility that he was getting old but Abby would hear nothing of the sort.

Then one afternoon two weeks ago she appeared from school with another fish- this one was named Ponyo (after the Disney movie they had just watched) and we added him to the bowl. I decided that with two fish that darn bowl was going to need a more frequent cleaning and I dreaded the thought- so we went out and brought home a filter tank- that would sustain itself for a much broader period of time, thus alleviating my work load! Naturally, with the added space this was providing, Eva and Liv each picked out a fish as well and a sucker fish was placed in to keep the algae at bay.

All this time poor pumpkin was looking worse and worse- his tail was falling off and we started to notice that his color wasn't looking so well- after research we concluded that he had fin rot which would spread to the others. It was time to have a deep hearted discussion with Abby- the time had come to say goodbye to an old and trusted friend.

This time the pain ran deep. Her poor heart was broken- he had been with her so long. In her infantile memory it had been a lifetime, she couldn't remember a time without him. She was distraught to say the least but understood that he had to go or he would make all the other fish sick as well. She put on a brave face as Paul did the deed of pulling the handle and she didn't watch as he swirled away into the abyss. Hand over her eyes she ran off in tears. I found her in the back corner of her closet with the door shut sobbing. I gently opened the door and lifted her out, placed her in my lap and we rocked together for a long time- no words, just understanding of hearts- hers was shattered and mine broke for her. The silence soon gave way to a loving discussion of life's plan, our purpose, and death. Each life on this earth was given by our Heavenly Father, we were all sent here with a purpose to fulfill, and death is not the end, it is the beginning of the next step, the next level of our existence. While we are sad to say goodbye, we are happy knowing that they are moving on, returning to our Father in heaven and the loved ones waiting to meet them with open arms, and we will see them again. Abby decided that Pumpkins life purpose was for her to learn how to love and care for something- I decided that he was here to teach her a life lesson about letting go and trusting in the lord.

Today we went out and purchased a new fish for her (with Louisa of course)- Star. Shining bright in the memory of a loved one. Oh, and she wouldn't leave with out a Snail too- I guess we are fish people now- who knew right?

This post dedicated
in Loving Memory
to

Pumpkin

October 15 2010- January 30th 2011